Friday, 26 April 2013

hmmm?!!!!

u play ur part
tasked as the masked man
hiding inside my mind
im telling u i dont like it like that
so so sew it all together
stich ur mouth shut and then try to state
to me and say along with me.. to=get= her
is all u gotsta.. got star get

to have an extra hand
so heres the plan
i am stan-d-ing more and more
closer to the call
and and i worn
u that in comparison to who u
I my.. hold it.. me hang on.. me aw fuck what im tryna say is
Im hot and u jus  a
warm worm in the bottom of a tequila bottle
wat u say is pitiful and im board of all the birds
that wanna eat u lil worm as a treat
in the morn or am
you ooo-ing thin,king u king
well then sing
a song that makes u number sunshine again

or u could just take it all away
playing this game
yeah its funny aint it
that 4 u its making money
4 me this skill is how i tell
you- i got sumthing more than
this picture of an affliction
of mr mezzing
this im sezzing the
meaning messing with the real
meaning the miss mistaken rap
raw mary and all what the alter dreams
says is what was ready
at the time ..u say i choke but in reality
u know now this is the rope to hang to
and thru to the truth
that was all she wrote
of wat is truely true
a typical note
middle c
i see my dreams
so eloquently

them up there like dancer or prancer blitz-en in bits an
most of u think u is a lamb or a ram of christ
oh shit that wasnt wise
chosen to do sumthing nice in this diced game
plain and simple usa fuckng dimple on the the cheek
of lies and sin
u think they pikd u
ill prick u with the pins and needles freak
u all pop sheep playing for history keep sakes
in this fake society
heres the rair hiar fires and there hear me rioting
while u sleep on ur feet
like a shop of treats
Im lyrically sweet'
hahahaha now wheres my beat

coz m about to loose my mind
i needa fuckng DR on time
to buy me a label of the insane kind
why do i drink this wine
when it could be water
why do i sit in yearn to learn from the master
of creational disasters im asking now the taskers
the do'ers and real real masters
this is not the plaster to hold it together

only my soul will stand
in the modern testament
of lights and signs
sirens and chymes
alarms and charms
yeah im the one ur after
comming up last to have the last laughter
haha its funny that laughter and slaughter are the same word it is jus an s
yes that would be semantically sentencing happiness to a death wish
if u get me bitch
hitch another knotch in this belt
coz i felt im winning this one
ha hun isnt it fun

celebrity calibre u see me there
thats me saying i got a shot at this
and blunt bullets ready and lined up
4 u mutts so stop the hit of disclassed crude fake arses
on my tv screen and radio
it IS death to the woman of the dream team America scene
score 1
u betta run
from war
nth korea
dosnt like what u r doing to the world
from ur westen besten hiper glipsen disn those who aint got a show
a show of shoes whos got the best well on our feet we all got atleast
two nails
jesus
dont fail me

but i think ill jus snailed all yas in ya fancy cars
yeah id ratha throw snails at you and hope it hurts
than really shot u down with this war of words


but thats not the mantra i wanted to take
so stop
before i miss my mistakes
fait remains my savor
to my taste i place 
a step into this 
with some form of grace
thank U God

Sunday, 21 April 2013

weather man

swing thru the air
beautiful souls stand near
so u get to hear the new race
is disgraced as a world
yeah?
in agreement arnt we all
no im wrong well then
read the next line

u come thru looking behind ya
and over ur back while u lay flat
i stand tall with a shot of poppy syndrome
back to reaching ur goals and bits
of time that in which u can say
successes u got
u got ur way

failin into evil
here comes u.. to ur death
dying here trying
I am
so u can be gone so long
because im sick of being and been wrong

till november when the sun shines again
i gotta get sum shady shadows upon my face
thru the pain of the window
glass house smashd on christmas eve
cash injections into the heart on my sleave


so play it any way
like little children u r
and will always stay
hey hey
im not diggin my own grave
im digging urs
so u can jump in
and realise dead and gone
is where u belong

u got it yet
im doing u a favor digging
the last bed you shall sleep in
the death of u
is what the weather man predicted
so hear me know as the rain comes down
just dance and sing lalallast song ull ever know

and then to look up again
and see god
silence now
is not what we need
we need to be awakend to the realities

but u cant speak
bullet in ur back
light opens and u go down
and begin to drown
and the light turns to flames
and u realise
hell is where ur going
no surprise to me
ur successes were the sequel
to evil and the devil
if u cant beat em then join em
jim
beaming signs
now u wont be scheming
me again
and if u try to scheme the devil and his many men
ull find ur hell is the sound of flames licking ur pain and screaming dreams
thats if ur able to sleep
while the puss from ur life wounds seep
u need soap and disinfectant for ur life in the depths of hell

the lambs limbs gnna chase ya
face it u failed
so a life long time of lies and mediocrity belief systems
an option u had to be so good in ur days
and now u regret the bet u made with life

sun shining
it must be november
gone till
i remember
heat hot
crying with no shame
the dust will settle
if u get scared of hell then tell me
will u look upward in this life
its worth the walk at the end in to the light
so u dont end in the fight of heavens opposite home
and inside out we all here to show the truth the way and the light
so stop the pity full fight
dont belive everything u hear
coz we are here so be good to this ground that everyday ur feet step on
be kind to the people u see and meet
dont judge the collarmen and media as gospel

incessantly is the fickle man, making his plan
so tune changes and the following the real rules
the rest of these verses were found



and then the weather man made one last prediction
of a love for life love of the beat
love for height
love for the right
love of earth
the love of our birth to beauty
people see
we are the heaven lost to be found again
if we cant find it here
where are u going
another life reincarnated time to repeating the tick of the clock face
new lesson on ur new street
another shot at faith and controlling ur fait in this hard life
advertising gets amongst ur brain
persuasion of the truth in this creation
makes me sick ever day

walk in the nature
run into the future
be ur truth
to meet the maker
of the true in this creation
walk as an angel does
toward the life in which wealth is about holistic health

monetary wealth isnt the aim
thats just the white collar mans game
media shame

music gain
true representation as to where the world is at
dont party like its ur last life
love like its ur last life

im no tool in the game of money money money
im more than letting myself sell out for the wrong time
i will claim my place though
here is where i stand
dont need your money to hold my hand
money is my tool
im not a tool  to money
he money
she money
we money
we all gotta be money makers
but we dont have to be fakers

thats why i thank this land
spirit show them thats what we gotta understand
ur out there reaching and paying a fee to be pretty
here teaching the biggest lesson all for free to create tru wealth and perfection
souls are our true teachers
ur soul got sumthing to say to u so fucking listen

the mist of the falculty of evil deeds
is winning this
when it was due to lose
u gotta be true
wait stop dont shoot
i had a dream

to live another way
so lets give it a go
i may be a dreamer of faith
that may be my flaw in our time
i know though im heading higher for good

i had a dream
GOD and I will walk thru the gardens of heaven
i had a dream
that this creation survived "US"
i had a dream
that the world was made of love
i had a dream
GOD is proud of our survival
i had a dream
and so we all did see
truth and beauty

love all
xoxo









Friday, 12 April 2013

if i ever could say the sky would die, id say it was because the ground didnt sing in the skys day anymore. all because we used to speak their stories.. but now we just look at the tales of the gods like theirs is a "no more" kinda sound.
some say wats lost will still stand proud, until the day we are ready to talk of them again.
not of then but of now we must start to speak.


Sunday, 3 March 2013

Thursday, 26 July 2012

all of what you have read here...its not the true depiction of who i am on a day to day basis.

but what would you do if you were in my position.

ive already lead you to understand some of my mind state.

so..here is my placement.

you're sane....but then for months at a time you discover other "entities" in your mind. and they want out. these entities want ur mind and body to live in as they choose. your soul now has to fight.

you say things and do things that aren't you.

your character, your mind, thoughts and your spirit of being, somehow stolen by the devil.
basically you, your person as you know so well, isnt being displayed.
the person people have loved isnt around anymore, or is just unrecognisable as being you.

FIGHT.

FIGHT FOR YOUR MIND

no matter how much in your soul you know your still in there. in that body of yours, in that mind of thoughts, somewhere is your own mind sight.
i never let go of the knowledge that it was my life and i would get my spirit back my mind back and my body. i would get me back to normality. i was strong in this knowledge even when i had no control of the paths my mind took.

yet sometimes i had to just run with what my mind presented to me as a possible reality.
although dangerous as it is to loose urself in insanity.
its more dangerous to struggle with it agressivly. its tiring and the result is falling deeper into the fear and paranoia, delusions and pain.

a negative response denotes a negative outcome. a positive aproach maintains and strengthens a positive outcome.

even when i fell into my insanity, it was clear to me that it wasnt sumthing i had argue with. why argue in ur mind just because u disagree with ur thoughts.
its a process of CHANGE and CONTROL but whats greater is its a CHOICE. to CHOOSE to keep a underlying quiet message to urself that its not true.
I DO NOT BELIVE IN THESE DELUSIONS.

it was easy for me once i realised it. a delusion is a dream while ur awake. seemingly more real because ur 100times more aware of the deam/delusion being played out.



SO..... why this blog
i wanted to let out these "entities" in away that i could control it so it dosnt come raging back into my mind with a vengeance.

i knew it would be a way to let go of it. letting go of falling ill to stages of insanity.

when im insane... im insane, but im still aware of reality.
when im sane... im sane. and thats reality.

insanity isn't permanent.

dont judge me because ive been "mentally unwell"

if you gotta judge, be in my life and take a closer look before you do judge.

funny thing is outa all my rantings in this blog.

this is probably the closest look ive alowed to be seen.

dont know if its a wise move or not.

never mind if its not.
probably safer than some of the thing ive written being seen.


SO THATS WHY,
AND (WHY) WILL  ALWAYS LEAD US TO A MORE KNOWLEDGABLE TRUTH.

TRUST THAT

XO









Saturday, 9 June 2012

really?!

introducing. haha!

sarah is my birth name
lucy is me
diamond is emotional and good
gloss is diamonds twin as lucy is to sarah
miss vixen is the raw rapper
sez is the nic that spits
now u get all of me and u beeen waiting for more of thiis
4 views 2day and i wish who u are u like waht u see.
what ur seeing is the beggining of an effort to get outa here
and to where sez speaks
i gave myself 7yrs thats till im 30 and im getting there
from the east of this land.. but left here living in the west. feeling outa place and outa home where do u go when u gotta speak more than what u walk
to the lords door i look to u
am i better at he poetry or the rap whats the difference when u talk the truth of how it is
reality bein its here and the rawity is the rush whether ur whoteva
dont forget where u stand but where ur from
i know who i am and i know where im from
wairoa wish i was home.
for the most of this i got more to say
but ur gonna run away coz at this time ur reading wats hot and not at the ease of ear
stay with me as thia is history in the making listening to snoop, but being so underground.. i dont even have a beat yet
of my own
i will crawl
i will stuble
i will the walk
i know i will stand strong
and in wondering how not to fall i know better
not even at a height able to fall from yet

trailing all to find my place  to set my feet but nowhere feels sane and safe in mind
so there it was and how much laughter in ur eyes
ive found so much of me but
how can this be that i still cant see
well check me in is it  loving the music
and knowing im gonna make ya crazed ya
missd matched words never meant a thing
so ur wondering if i can sing
music is me
love is never freedom
so dont forget to be
and if u  cant be in ur love .. leave


really is that right?!

father  ..master of what we all here know is good..
(women, drink, ladys and greenary,isnt that right b/oi)
making this happen some other day
as of now its easy to be this.. but to get further im looking up to find alil star that aint been seen before.. what on im looking in the mirror and finding that diamond star shining so far..so glossed up
i want u to now this aint the half of life, the others beyond those golden gates of heavens doorway
the roads long but hardly at all, is it sumthing that we talk? wen it should have been/ wen we r not sposed to be here much longer. .
does that old king Jesus still seak.. retired of whats higher we will find
this is just the time
travelling up....all my life flying by in ur mind
making anyfool look behind and the good guy fall
thats what i do with words that ull kick the bak of the ball jus to find that game u playing was all by urself.. ur lifes nuthing compared to me
miss vixen and diamond breaking what sez threw ur way
and u thought u could say shot to the peple but that mess on ur face must hurt as ur hustling ur way through life just like my man does for me to have what i need.. but thats not whats important its music art and a hiher faith.. muny may be sumthing we need to live in this world.. but in more important eyes its the faith of whats higher.. u or me.. i can bet my blunt today was bigger than the words u speak.
mary jane bleeding into me poor bitch dont realise her life will neva be ova coz we all love her.

saint mary magdalene loved jesus but what happen to her reputation after her doing what it took to survive, most christ lovers frown upon her when she was blessed enuf to evn be that close to him. none of us can say int his life we have had that kind of respect from a king.

speaking is this.. talking is tales of wit and this messed up space.





 i wonder why.
if i fly to you
anywhere in the world 
one more time
if i cry
you would too
and when the sun sets 
so does the turn of tunes
isnt it time we started to make for a new way.
if u care should u dare to state that 
and the way that it should be
just like ud like to see it


stop living a lie with the way u stand there shaking ur head. before ur even asked to make a stand. a step up from where u stood before



raw mary

i have found you
looking through glass doors




what am i gnna put on this one


heres diamond im ready
now

do it do this

i got what they call the way, /
a ladys sway she..walks, talk../
im a lil dirty manner
 can u cope / roped in
with the raw/ truth of waht
/ i really want to say/
so well here it goes its filth/k
and this is gnna go/
 up beyond diamonds words..
 im gonna have ta call on the worst /
of me and all my alter egos.
. miss vixen is here to drop it to the top.
i dont wanna have to say this..
but play this


droping  beat .u think
think i cant make it saaw/
sour  grap
/u say ah ha na im thats u.
sweeter than carameled suga.... is me
the taste of me is more than a wild wonder in this world
 infact its the top 10 platnum wonder of this world diamonds child not for ur destiny but a select few of wisdom sitting in the tree of greenary. vip i will be with this beat

high as a lady killer everyday so how well can i do it to this sheet

straght down the middle is where i got it/
 where i will always want it everyday now. ill make ya grab ur lackerd sac and hard handle that.. mass mess u made from the wandera days

cum on..shot in her face..chased down with tequela and lime.. its time to watch only wats fine...missed mine.. diamonds trix on miss vixen. wondering why i gotta get myne im on time..sori ma if ur questioning this.. if its imbarrasing u sori again this is wat i gota do with my madness inhead..my names diamond miss vixen gloss watever u wanna call me my names sarah lucy thats the boss of this. shhhot



so dont shy away from this street... gaurd the shokt top step to the place before where u whept just spose i swept u away with the things i say

well i have i know dat
not hard to figure out away

to find this music up in my day and in ur face.. in ur head is where im seated but not for long soon well be up in the club... shorty they say do ya thang
swang that ldy killa swag on while ur
all ryt

stop


drop

topd and rolling
joint
smoked
toked and calling

mary jane i love that name

superwoman and her games


ego

we all have grab it an gravitate toward ur dreams. me im in my ego when i write but thats not me in everyday life.

its my way to treat me how i love to fear id be treated. learning do i dont have to cry when i lie in bed on my own.
this truth i own, and here id like to say its not all raw and ruff its raw reality of this old slut as sum would look down in on my life and assume i am, raw reality shows that this life is not all i am. i could succesed again, i could reach my dreams again. i could train my speech to be somethin of meaning.

but instead i  ri riot this rot of truth about the life i live and whats actual and the raw reality..im not sur i like my everyday but thats just ok coz theres one in my daily li-high life, miss mary the green healer inhaling and making me choke in my dreams laking motivation and jus chillin no matter the weather whether or not my brain rots im smoking away those catchable dreams, the paper and the green dream seems to be what i choose. when i look twice it dosnt seem like it shoulda been my life.

insanity in every song diamonds not on this moment of grown stories in this straight track forwards, ur listening to what sez saying it twice it cuts deeper than any knife, its soul pain to know yes ill say it again do i sacrifice my brain for this life, just to smoke up what boredom brings

trix in everystep in this life sumones fooling you, dont be suprised to find these words instead of what was introduced to be filth..by vixen. it seems raw marys dreams stop short of the oceans and what from the otherside you could see.

in any form im here to dance and feel joy again, its movement form the soul. i will retuen. and raw mary will always deture me while i let that be, i shouldnt complain, my life aint so hard. ive learnt how to see the ego in me. raw mary take me away one last time.